this list will grow.

1.
Friend: "I'm bored."
Me: "You could always watch scrubs"
Friend (after five minutes): "You have completely ruined my work ethic. I hope you realize this"
Me: "My work here is done"

2.
Friend: "That totally made my week."
Me: "Oh, no. Well, i'm about to ruin it."
Friend: "How's that?"
(I give him a link to an NG post)
Friend: "Done"
(I look it over)
Me: "You... You gave a straight answer wilthout biting the OP in the ass at all?"
Me: "Can I have $200?"
Friend: "Well, that escalated quickly."
Me: "It was worth a shot."

3.
Friend: "Stream from Netflix."
Me: "I dunno if I can"
Me: "It has to be a h.264 codec type"
Friend: "Lame."
Me: "no, h.264"

4.
Friend: "Meh, this is coming from the man who older, more educated then me that made such cult classics as Disembodiment and Tactics."
Me: "they're amazing, goddamnit >.>"
Friend: "Oh I know."
Me: "I'm coming out with a GOTY edition for Disembodiment"
Friend: "Is it going to work?"
Me: "I added a different texture to the main character"

-extra-
Things I never want to hear:
Guess what you gave me?